oh macyn!

The Miracle of Macyn: Part 2

2012-01-19T13:49:00.000-08:00

(See part 1 here)

Part 2

I'll never forget the day she came home from the hospital after her heart surgery. The night before, I set up her pack and play next to my bedside. We got all the supplies and medication we would be using. The morning she came home we carried her car seat in with us and I'm pretty sure my hands were shaking. After a couple of hours of paper work and questions/instructions from the staff, I watched as the nurses took out her IV. They helped us get her safely buckled into her car seat and we said our tearful good-byes. The nursing staff at Loma Linda Children's Hospital is the best of the best, hands down and to honest, we were going to miss them. What a gift they were to us.

As we walked in the elevator that had become so familiar to us over the past four days, I began to weep. Four days prior I brought my daughter to the hospital not knowing if I'd be leaving there with her, and there she was, my sweet Macyn Hope, coming home! And while we still had a long road ahead of us, her heart was on the mend...Praise God!

The next week was a blur. We had to give her four different medications throughout the day and some multiple times a day. We turned our bathroom mirror into a medication chart using dry erase markers to chart when a medication was given and by whom. Because she was hospitalized she was at high rise for pneumonia so we had to use a small pink rubber device to pound her little chest and back at least twice a day and use a "booger sucker" (that's what we call them) to suction out anything. It was awful because she cried so loud and hard when we'd do this.

She came home with nothing covering up her incision, crazy right?! Heart surgery in and of itself is such a miracle. The doctors and nurses told us she could lay on her tummy if it wasn't too uncomfortable. But for the first few days I treated her like a porcelain doll. It's a lot of pressure being in charge of a baby with such serious and involved medical needs. I remember thinking how amazed I am at the human capacity to just do it. During this time I had other moms tell me they couldn't do what I was doing, but the fact of the matter is, when it's your kid, you do, and it's really not that big a deal, because it's your kid!

During this week God used Macyn and my dad to teach me a rock-my-world kind of lesson. It was about two days after she came home and my parents were at our home helping out. I remember my dad giving me a big hug and I just began to cry. I think in the safety of my dad's arms I felt vulnerable and a lot of the emotion that I hadn't had time to let out just spilled. I expressed my concerns and my dad said: "Heather, every breath she will ever breath has already been accounted for and there is nothing you can do to change it, so just let God be God."

Whoa!!!

So true. Since that day I sill thank God daily for the breath in our lungs this day...what a gift!

At Macyn's 4 week post surgery appointment we found out that she was doing great. He cardiologist asked if she was seeing a pulmonologist (lung specialist) yet and she was not. He then proceeded to personally call the BEST pulmonologist at Loma Linda as well as a wonderful GI doctor and he got us to the top of the list. The next month Macyn and I found ourselves at Loma Linda about 13 times. We saw specialist and had procedures done to determine the severity of her lung condition. I remember being so thankful and considering God's grace that my baby slept through the night, otherwise all this doctor stuff would have been exhausting.

Macyn had a lung disease called pulmonary hypertension. If you read my blog you know all about it! Well, it's an incurable and very serious disease. It required her to be on oxygen 24/7 and to be taking medication 4 times a day. She was a very sick little girl!

Every six months Macyn would have an echo cardiogram done to check on her lungs and heart. He heart always looked great! Praise The Lord from whom ALL blessing flow! We actually haven't even needed to see her cardiologist since her one year post surgery appointment. Amazing!

After her echo we'd meet with her pulmonologist to get the results and for about two years it was always the same: she is getting better, but still needs the oxygen and medication. We would leave the appointments with hope in our hearts knowing that God was bigger than any incurable disease and that even if Macyn needed oxygen her whole life, God would give us everything we needed to make it the best life possible.

Then...one day...it was after one of her echoes and we were waiting in he pulmonologist's office, hoping and praying for great news. As soon as the doctor walked through the door she said: "He pulmonary hypertension is gone, take off her oxygen!" (I'm getting teary just remembering it!) As would be expected, we both began to cry tears of overwhelming joy. Our faithful and gracious Lord healed our daughter.

A real and true miracle.

That happened on December 15th 2010. More than a year has passed and Macyn is still oxygen free. This sweet little girl whom we met as a sick little three month old and were told she may not make it is doing amazing! She's smart and sassy and sweet as can be. She the gift of my life and to be her mom and a witness to all that has happened brings me to my knees in awe!

In August Macyn's Inland Regional Center coordinator came to "exit" Macyn from the 0-3yr. program. As I was signing papers she said something that hit me hard: she told me that she remembered when Macyn was being placed with IRC as a little baby and there was talk of not even needing to place her because she was most likely not going to make it! That was the first time I'd ever heard that and it hit me hard. I thank God I did not have ALL the information on Macyn when we decided to adopt her, because I wonder if we really really knew the severity of her health if we would have said yes.

And now just look at her:
Macyn Hope: you are a walking and breathing miracle!

The Miracle of Macyn: Part 1

2012-01-18T10:30:00.000-08:00

Did you know that 9 out of 10 women who find out they are having a child with down syndrome get an abortion? Yeah, 9 out of 10, that's the statistic. Macyn's birth family knew she had down syndrome but chose an adoption plan over an abortion, one of the reasons my heart will always cherish them. Based on that information alone, Macyn is a miracle.

Then you take this little baby, who had a 10% chance of making it simply based on an extra chromosome, and you add on things like holes in her heart and sick, weak lungs: now we're really talking major miracle.

The first time we met with a cardiologist regarding Macyn's prognosis (this was before we said yes to adopting her), he told us that things did not look good and gave her a year, maybe as many as 8 years, to live, and it would most likely be the life of a sick little girl.

So here's the story of Miss Macyn's miraculous life (I have to say that I was not apart of her life for the first four months so I'm telling it as best I can given the info we got from the adoption agency and foster family):

Macyn was born with two holes in her heart and pulmonary hypertension in her lungs. She went straight from the hospital in to a wonderful foster home, and from what we know, she went home with everyone thinking she was just fine. At about 5 or 6 weeks old, her foster mom brought in another foster baby for her wellness check-up and the pediatrician asked how the other baby (our Macyn) was doing. Foster mom let her know that she was spitting up a lot, more than normal, often projectile and this set off a red flag for the pediatrician. Some tests were done and within a couple weeks she was having heart surgery to close a small hole in her heart (a PDA ligation).

The surgery went well, but did not fix the problem in her lungs in the least so she was put on oxygen at night (we later learned, from the lung specialist, that she should have been one oxygen 24/7 but another 6 months would go by before 24/7 oxygen was implemented)

Because her pulmonary hypertension was so bad and the hole in her heart was so big an exploratory surgery was done to see if the risks involved in an open heart surgery would be worth it. At this point, we were ready to adopt her and bring her home but the agency, and we agreed, wanted to keep her in the home she was familiar with throughout the stress of the exploratory surgery and other tests. This exploratory surgery showed that she should have the open heart surgery to fix the atrial septal defect and the surgery would take place in a month or so, therefore she got to come home to bond with us prior to her open heart surgery.

Oct. 28th, 2009, Macyn came home to be our daughter!!! Oct. 29th, 2009, we met with her heart surgeon to schedule surgery!

On December 1st, 2009, I watched as the anesthesiologist carried our new baby girl back for a very risky and scary surgery. I think I was out of my body at the time. Usually they roll the bed back from the waiting area to the surgery area, but he decided to carry her and I will forever have etched in my memory her little head bopping up and down over his shoulder.

Then we sat in a waiting area and waited. We were surrounded by family and our pastors came and our social workers. The whole experience was surreal. There was holiness about it. I knew God in such an intimate way throughout all of it. I don't think I can put it into words, I really can't.

After about six hours or a life-time (when your only child is having open heart surgery I don't think there is a difference) Macyn's surgeon came and got us and told us the surgery went well. He told us that God gave our hearts and extra inch or so of tissue that has no purpose, and so he cut a patch about the size of a nickel and used the tissue from Macyn's heart to patch up the hole...a true and real miracle! I mean think about it, how big can a 5 month old's heart be, and to need a patch the size of a nickel...that was a big hole! He also let us know that the next 24 hours would be crucial.

Macyn made it through the next 24 hours, and the next three days, while Macyn was fighting for her life, we spent every minute we could by her side. She was in a room that was set up in such a way that we couldn't spend the night there, so we stayed until they kicked us out and got there before the sun came up every day.

Three days after her open heart surgery I walked in her room in the morning and the nurse said, "I think we'll send her home today." Talk about mixed emotions. I was thrilled that she was well enough to come home, but if she was home, I would be in charge and three days after such a big surgery I was needing the help of the staff for just a bit longer. I remember calling Josh and then praying about and knowing that God would equip us to take care of her. About an hour later the nurse said she changed her mind. There was too much "gunk" in Macyn's lungs so they wanted to keep her another day so they could do suctions on her as needed. I was so relieved!!!

(to be continued...)

A beautiful Tragedy

2012-01-12T14:16:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had something tragic happen to you?

When I speak about the tragedy that took place during 30 years of life, I know it is nothing compared to the lose of a child, or the tragedies to take place worldwide last year such as the earthquake and tsunami to hit Japan or the tragic earthquake that hit Hattie. I think everyone who is sound of mind would agree that those are in deed tragic.

But sometimes a tragedy can be much less obvious to the world around: A divorce, a child born with severe illness, losing your home through a fire, or a miscarriage.

My tragedy is different still. My tragedy is the loss of my fertility.

My journey (minus some insignificant-to-the-reader details) to find out that I can not in fact bear my own flesh and blood began with the Mr. and I "trying" to get pregnant:

-We tried for almost 8 months with no success, at which point I decided to see my OB...

-He put me on some drugs to help my body get pregnant and after about six months of that...

-I decided to see a fertility specialist.

(Now for those of you who have never experienced the inability to get pregnant, 14 months of trying is gut wrenchingly painful. I mean, make you want to scream and pound your fists at God painful (and let's be honest here, that was a common pastime for me.)

-Soooo...that fertility doctor found a large cyst...

-a diagnostic surgery was done to see if the cyst needed to be removed....

-The cyst was in fact not there (thanks to the prayers of the saints and God's healing hand!)...

-however it was discovered that my left fallopian tube looked like, and I quote, "a road to Big Bear" and will not work, but the right side seemed fine...

-Sooo...a dye test was done to see if my right tube worked. Basically, they cause you enormous pain while inserting dye into your uterus to watch via an X-ray kind of machine to see if it goes through the right side...and hallelujah-praise-the-Lord, IT DID!...

-So we had some hope pumped into our deflating hearts...

-Then, less than a week later, I got sick...I mean really, really sick. It turned out that I got some kind of awful infection from the dye. This can happen, but is very, very rare...lucky me!

After ALLLLLL of that, I found myself in my OB's office to try and figure out why I got this awful infection and what step to take next.

In a nutshell he let me know that my only chance at getting pregnant would be through in vitro fertilization (IVF) in other words, I'm infertile.

So there I was, sometime in 2007. I walked out of my OB's office with the heaviness of his words on my heart and that heaviness made its way through every inch of my being and poured out through my eyes as I sobbed.

Every inch of me, mind, body, heart, spirit, was in the midst of a tragedy:

covered in ashes, mourning and despair!

But...yes that's right, but...I soon learned how truly beautiful this tragedy was!

In the Bible, in the book of Isaiah, we hear these words about God: "He will give you a crown of beauty for ashes, blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair" (Isaiah 6:13)

Five years have passed since all that ish happened to me. I was broken to the core in the midst of it all, but I praise God for his patience and grace and for allowing me to experience ever second of the pain. I'm thankful because it was that experience that brought me to where I am today.

Five years ago, our omniscient God and savior knew exactly what was going on. He knew, before the foundation of the universe, that Macyn Hope and Truly Star were meant to be my sweet little girls. He knew that if I were to conceive a child I would not have adopted my Macy girl.

I thank Him daily for knowing what is best for me. I thank Him for being so patient with me as I screamed at Him to fix my body and give me a baby. I thank Hime to the point of tears for Macyn and Truly.

Not a day goes by that I don't take a second or more to look at my daughters and thank God that He knew all along. I would not trade any natural born child(ren) for just one day with my Macy girl or one kiss from Truly Star.

These girls were created for me and I for them, that we may know God more fully because of our journey into a family.

They are my beauty, my blessing and my festive praise!

A beautiful tragedy indeed!

Family Portrait

2012-01-10T09:01:00.000-08:00

My dear and very VERY talented friend Annie over at Annie Ink created this family portrait for us.

Go here to see it.

I just LOVE it. She also has an Etsy site and you'd be a fool not to purchase some of her talent for yourselves.

I put the portrait on the wall with the family map I got for Josh for his birthday last year (a heart in Armenia for Macyn and a heart in Guatemala for Truly).

I'm thinking of getting the map tattooed on my back and then I can add a heart each time we adopt another child. What do you think?

We will most likely be adopting our next child(ren) through the county again, but I'm pretty confidant the child's family of origin will be from a nation other than ours. I say that because when I was going through all of my infertility crap, a woman was praying over me and saw a vision of me birthing the nations, and so far, that seems to be the case. And what an honor it is!

Shiny Shoes and Moccasins

2012-01-05T20:10:00.000-08:00

You other mamas out there may disagree, but I have the cutest kids with the coolest kicks!

Macyn's Shiny Shoes are from Target
Truly's Moccasins are Minnetonka hand me downs

9 month old Truly Star

2012-01-02T16:09:00.000-08:00

She's 9 months old today

Truly loves and/or is able to:

-cruise furniture

-sign "more"

-wave "hi" and "bye"

-climb the stairs

-protest when something's taken away

-put EVERYTHING in her mouth

-finger feed small soft foods

-stand alone for a few seconds

-sleep through the night

Truly Star loves:

-her mama the most!

-to laugh at her sister

-to be chased by her daddy

-to pull on hair

-anything shinny

-people, all people and especially men with facial hair!

I know there's more but this is all this mama can think of right now. She really is such a joy, and

The best thing to happen to us in 2011!

Happy New Yeart

2011-12-31T15:54:00.000-08:00

A Very Happy New Year to you all

From this one:

And This one:

A Little Christmas This and That

2011-12-31T15:40:00.000-08:00

Whoa!

I don't know if it's adding another little munchkin to the fam, or my lack of organization, or my inability to be as productive as my heart desires, or my lazy you-know-what, but this past month I feel as thought I just could not get my act together.

When the month started, I had a list of fun activities to do before Christmas and for the first time, I think ever, I found myself not only unable to check off the majority of the items on the list but I was out completing my Christmas shopping on the 23rd. The 23rd people! Shopping that late in the season is fine for others but makes me feel a bit nutty and inadequate.

Then, after all was said and done, I found myself sitting in a Christmas Eve service in Chico at the Lutheran church and I was able to exhale because a sweet little baby Jesus made me recognize how very foolish my mind and heart have been in this season. I mean really, I get so caught up on getting everything done and being great at all I do, that I forget what's really important. I know that sounds cliche, but it's the truth. It was a rude awakening that my heart is not where it should be.

With all that said, once I got my head out of the fog, Christmas was a real joy. It was, after all, Truly Star's first Christmas, and she loved it! She actually slept through all of the present opening, which made it a little easier for me. And Macyn loves all things Christmas, which was really sweet this year.

We had a great time with the Mr's family in Chico and then headed to Santa Rosa to spend some Christmas time with my family. The girls did great with all the travels. I am one blessed wife/mama.

These are some of the highlights...

Christmas Eve service. Why do I look so tired you ask? We'd be up since 3:00 that morning and on the road for nine hours, give me a break!

Truly Star's first Christmas! I love this girl.

Pretty much sums up how Macyn feels about all things Christmas.

Cousin time in Santa Rosa

Some Days...

2011-12-19T20:26:00.000-08:00

Some days, when everything seems so normal or difficult, I need a reminder what a gift this life really is, and who better to do that than Macyn Hope:

Macyn, you continue to teach me about what really matters in life!

Christmas Tree Time

2011-12-17T21:36:00.000-08:00

(This is a bit of a catch-up post)

One thing I love about having our sweet little family is starting new traditions at holidays.

Two years ago we started getting our Christmas tree from Greenspot Farms, a local farm that does a pumpkin patch in the fall, Christmas trees in the winter and animals of all kinds all year long. It's a favorite spot of ours.

It's a cut-it-yourself tree farm and we love it.

Macyn has been so stinkin' cute with all things Christmas this year and getting the tree was no exception.

A Very Important Day Indeed

2011-12-15T23:15:00.000-08:00

"I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart I will recount all your wonderful deeds." Psalms 9:1

December 15th is a very important day

A very important day indeed!

It was this time one year ago that we watched a miracle happen right before our eyes. It was one year ago today that we sat in Macyn's lung doctor's office and she told us that her pulmonary hypertension was gone and that we could take of the oxygen she had been wearing 24/7 for the first 3+ years of her life!

(If you want all the details you can read about it here.)

Pulmonary Hypertension is an incurable disease, as we knew when we adopted her, but we also knew God created Macyn to be our daughter and us to be her parents, so we adopted our sick little baby with a heart full of hope in a God who is faithful and watched as God included us in the miracle of this girl's life. An honor to say the least.

This morning we woke up knowing today is not just any other day, it's a pretty big deal in our lives and so it will be celebrated as such for years to come.

In the Old Testament of the Bible, when God did big things for His people, they often created an alter of remembrance for all the generations who follow to always know what God has done. We believe what He has done in Macyn's healing is deserving of this kind of alter. So today we created an "alter" of sorts, for the Lord, that will be in our home for all to see as a remembrance of God's goodness, faithfulness and healing power.

We brainstormed for awhile what this alter would look like, and what we came up with was a shadow box with a Bible verse and each year we will find a stone and paint it and place it in the box. The people of the Bible often used stones to build their alters so we felt it was appropriate.

Teacher Gifts, On a Budget

2011-12-14T14:41:00.000-08:00

Have I mentioned how much I love having Macyn in school?

I love her class and all her teachers and all her friends. She really does have an exceptional class.

I get to be there as a volunteer once a week and wish I could go everyday, it's just that much fun.

I think when I go back to teaching I may want to move on down from the high school to the preschool and work with all the little cuties. But then Macyn won't be in my class so we'll see...

This year for teacher gifts I wanted to make sure we made them something special. I've seen a variety of tutorials on making candle teacups using old candles. So I gave it a try and I'm quite pleased with how they came out.

I bought little vintage teacups from the thrift store for .25cents each and then used old candles from the house and melted them down. Then I bought each teacher a full size JR Watkins soap or lotion, which are on sale right now at Rite Aid for $1.50 a piece. I wrapped each teacup and soap/lotion in a cloth napkin that I purchased at Pier 1 on Christmas clearance last year for only .30cents a piece. So with a little labor of love, I was able to give all four of Macyn's teachers a pretty sweet little Christmas gift for a total of $8.20. Not bad!

Happy Birthday Joshua Douglas

2011-12-11T21:14:00.000-08:00

Today is my sweet husband's birthday.
He is 33 today...whoa!

Because he has a December birthday he gets to ski for free on his birthday and so for the past few years, that's what he does. I went with him the past two years, and this year I wasn't invited! Maybe because he's practically pro and I only ski once a year. Don't worry my feelings aren't hurt.

So this morning I woke up super early (even earlier than Macyn) and made him my grandma's famous brown sugar pancakes with a fruit salad on the side. By the time they were ready Macyn was up to help me sing "happy birthday" and to help blow out the candle.

He opened some gifts (I got him a print of this map for THIS really amazing Etsy shop. The hearts on on Armenia, the country of Macyn's birth family; and Guatemala, the country of Tuly's birth family):

and then he was off to enjoy the slopes. Tonight we had dinner at his folks house with the family.

Josh with his girls up at his folks house

It was a lovely day and I hope he feels celebrated because he is awesome!

Really, Joshua, you are awesome. I pinch myself just knowing you are my husband. You are a dreamboat of a man. Your love for me and for our girls is beyond my wildest dreams. I thank God that you trust Him so fully and lead our family with integrity and grace. I am thankful to have been apart of so many of your birthdays and I hope and pray that God allows us to celebrate your 100th together in 77 years.

Happy birthday to the love of my life. Thanks for being so dang awesome.

xoxo,
Me

Echo

2011-12-09T14:08:00.000-08:00

The very first time I met my sweet little Macyn Hope was at Loma Linda Children's Hospital. She was there to get an echo cardiogram and I was there to find out the results and see if we were going to adopt this little girl or not. (details about that here).

Since that day, I have been back to the 2800 wing at LLCH at minimum, twice a year,

always in June and always in December.

We go so that Macyn can have her heart and lungs checked.

Last year our appointment was for December 15th, the day God changed our lives forever (More about that here) That was the day we found out that Macyn's pulmonary hypertension was gone and that she no long needed oxygen 24/7!

PRAISE THE LORD!

HE IS GOOD!

Since then we continue to go every six months to make sure her lungs and heart are functioning as they should be, and this time, almost a year later, they are healthy as can be!

A TRUE MIRACLE!

For some obvious reasons, I actually have a deep love for this part of the hospital. As crazy as it might sound, I am always happy to walk through the sliding glass doors and see what God has in store for our lives.

Side Note: (Macyn is still on oxygen at night. we have a sleep study test coming up to see if we can stop that as well...I have a pretty good feeling she'll be off altogether very soon!)

My sweet little Macyn girl was such a champ during her Echo.

She laid (mostly) quietly on the table while the tech moved the wand around her chest. It's about a 45 min. procedure and she laid (mostly) still the whole time, watching a Baby Einstein video and laughing too hard from time to time.

I sat next to her, holding her hand and staring at her face and beaming with joy. I really can't believe I get to be her mommy. I can't believe Macyn is my girl. To say she is a gift is an understatement. It's times like these, when my baby is hooked up to cords, laying on a bed in the hospital, that I overflow with awe and gratitude that I get to be apart of all of this.

Home Made Hot Cocoa!

2011-12-06T20:18:00.000-08:00

We really like hot cocoa in our home during the holiday season. The other night I was craving some bad but alas, the cupboard was bare (well pretty full but there was no hot cocoa.)

So after a quick pout, I got on the world wide web and found a recipe for hot cocoa from scratch. But as I do with almost every recipe, I took a quick look and then made it my own...and...

OH MY GOODNESS!!

...it was the best hot cocoa I've ever had and my life is now changed! I don't think I will ever buy packaged hot cocoa again.

So here's my own quick and easy recipe. It makes enough for two big mugs so you can do the math to make as much as you want.

Best Hot Cocoa EVER

-Two big mugs of milk (I use and highly recommend Almond milk)

-Two heaping tablespoons of powdered cocoa

-1/4 cup and a pinch more of white sugar

slightly boil the milk then add the cocoa and sugar,

mix it up and enjoy!

It will change your life.

Truly is 8 months old!

2011-12-02T20:08:00.000-08:00

Today marks 8 months of life for our sweet little Truly Star.

I'm so thankful I have been her mom for the past two of those 8 months and that I get to be her mom for every month from here on out.

It's so strange at times being the mom of a baby who I didn't even know the first six months of her life. And while I didn't even know her, I was praying daily for her because I knew she was out there somewhere. I wish I could have been there for every breath she's ever taken but I know God's will and timing are perfect and I rest knowing I'm sitting in the middle of it when it comes to my munchkins.

So at 8 months old our sweet Truly girl is:
-crawling
-pulling to stand
-cruising the furniture
-feeding herself cheerios and puffs
-clapping her hands
-playing chase (crawling fast, laughing and diving into anything soft when we say "I'm gonna get cha")
-sleeping through the night...okay only sometimes
-holding her own bottle, although I still prefer holding it for her
-recognizing her name
-recognizing familiar faces
-saying "mama" "dada" "baba" and making a pretty awesome growling noise
-blowing razz-berries
-putting EVERYTHING in her mouth
-understanding "no" and getting pretty bugged when she's told no
-she has two teeth and judging by her moodiness and drool, more on the way

I'm sure I'm leaving plenty out. This girl is amazing.

It is so strange parenting a child who is developmentally on track. I don't think Truly and Macyn could be any different, and I LOVE it. It really stretches me as a mom and as someone who wants to be more like Jesus. Being Truly's mom has made me see just how much patience I lack and how messed up a person I am and I thank God for his grace and guidance as I learn what it means to be Truly's mom.

Thanks In My Heart

2011-11-30T22:23:00.000-08:00

Our family has a tradition of celebrating Thanksgiving in Oceanside Ca. This year my sister and her sweet family came down from Nor Cal and so we all rented a beach house. The kind of beach house that is right on the beach. It was beyond dreamy!

The week was amazing, one of the best yet. I just LOVE my family. I had a moment this week, when we were all around the bonfire talking and laughing and I looked around at how much love was there and I felt such gratitude towards our Lord for blessing me with this family. We really do all love each other so much. There is pretty much never any drama and we are always looking out for each other. We had five kids under the age of six and they all get along beautifully.

Below is our best attempt at a family photo.

In fact one of my highlights this trip was watching the cousins play together. Jaxon, the eldest cousin and lone boy, has such a unique love for Macyn. They are true buds. And all three of my sister's kids love their new little Truly so much.

While I can't express how thankful I am for my sweet family, I must say that this year I am most thankful for my girls.

Because we go to Oceanside every year it's easy for me to reflect on past Thanksgivings. When I look back I see myself longing to be a mom. I remember thinking "this time next year we might have a baby" and then a year or two going by with no baby in sight. Then I look at last year. Macyn was almost two and a half, not walking and on oxygen. And this year, as I think back to past years, I found myself breathless at the awe and wonder overflowing from my heart. I think about how little I knew of what my heart really desired and how our sweet and omnipotent Lord, by His grace, laid before me a life I could never have dreamed.

I look at this photo of Macyn Hope as she tries her hardest to run (she's not quite there yet, but she sure does try!) and it brings tears to my eyes. Every oxygen free step she takes on the beach is a miracle. And we celebrate every single one. She is one amazing kid and being her mom is the gift of my life. Because of her I have a better understanding of my savior and there is nothing I want more in this life.

And then there's Truly! Oh Truly, you are something else! I look at your face, at this photo and pinch myself that you're mine. You have been my girl for the past two months and I'm still trying to figure you out. I love this picture of Truly because I can see the mystery in her face. I remember so clearly last year, wishing, hoping, thinking and praying that this year at the beach I'd have another baby; and I do! and she's amazing! After all I've been through with Macyn sometimes I wonder what God can possibly teach me through Tru, and then I thank God for His grace that covers these foolish thoughts, and that He doesn't hold them against me. I have a feeling that your life will reveal so much more of God's character to me. I'm humbled to be the one to help shape and form you into a woman who seeks after God's heart.

I have so much more to share about our week at the beach, so more to come...

What She's Wearing Wed. Thanksgiving Dress

2011-11-30T21:19:00.000-08:00

We were out of town for the past week (more to come) and I just didn't bother picking up the computer. It was so great!

But for this weeks What She Wearing Wednesday and Little Vintage Style I'm including some pretty fabulous photos of Miss Truly in her newest vintage dress and my sweet niece Kalli wearing a dress that used to be my sister's:

These photos are classic Truly: she goes from crying to laughing in seconds. She's too much!

Truly has a big crush on her papa.

Some Catch Up with Friends

2011-11-21T21:00:00.000-08:00

I was looking through some photos I recently uploaded and I have a lot that's been going on that I have needed to take the time to document and just haven't gotten around to it. So first thing's first...

Remember Macyn's BFF Liliana? I posted about them here. Macyn is about four months older than Lili and she came home the same month Liliana was born. Well we were so sad to see them move from the area but so happy to have a visit from them last month! Both Liliana and Macyn are big sisters now and it was so fun having the four girls together to play. We love this family and we love that even though lots of time goes by we can pick up where we left off.

Music in my Soul

2011-11-20T15:14:00.000-08:00

Dearest Macyn Hope,

Last night your dad and I went to see the Civil Wars in concert, and I couldn't stop thinking of you.

I'm so excited to take you to your first concert. If great artists didn't play so late we would have already gone to our fair share.

We were sitting in the mezzanine section last night and I told your dad, when we take you, we will have to be in the general admission standing area, because we all know that once the music starts, you can keep yourself from dancing. I love this about you Macyn!

I love that there's a part of your soul that feels music deep within.

I love that when you wake up in the morning the first thing you ask for is music. I love that when the ice cream truck drives by you stop what your doing and get your grove on. I love that when we walk into a store with music playing loudly, you can't help but shake your booty and I LOVE that when we get in the car to go somewhere I can't even get the car started without turing on the music and if it's something other than Arcade Fire you request Rococo by name. I love our daily dance parties and singing song after song after song per your insistence. And it simply blesses my heart when you run into the sanctuary at church for the last couple of worship songs and you raise your hands and spin around for our Lord.

I love that you love music with a passion that is pure and sweet. Macyn, I hope to be more like you as I grow up!

Birthday Weekend

2011-11-14T14:12:00.000-08:00

I'm 30 now, and it's fine.

I had an amazing birthday weekend and I have a lot of people to thank for that, but especially the Mr. He worked so hard to make my birthday wonderful, and it was.

The morning of 11/11/11, we were planning on going out to breakfast but our sweet little Macy girl was sick and had no energy. So instead, the Mr. got me breakfast at a local fav spot and then served it to me in bed and I got to cuddle with Macyn for almost two hours! It was delightful. We then spent the rest of the day preparing for my birthday extravaganza.

And what might that have been you ask?

Well...we had made reservation for ourselves and about 20 of our closest friends, to do some wine tasting and eating at a local restaurant called The Farm. I have always dreamed of having dinner here, but it's VERY pricy and we just don't like to spend $100 on a meal for two, so I've never actually eaten here. But, for my birthday, we worked our a sweet deal for all of us to do some wine tasting and eat some amazing appetizers! The joint did not disappoint. The wine was fancy, the food was fabulous. I hope to go back again soon.

Then we headed back to our house for a dessert and cocktail party.(side note, I worked so hard on making a fancy and fun party and decor, and it was really something special! But I didn't take a single picture of the set up..boo!)

The night was amazing. Two of my college roommates drove here from Nor Cal and surprised me. I haven't seen them in over a year so it was such a treat to have them here. The whole night was SO MUCH FUN! I could not have had a better 30th.

Bye Bye 20's

2011-11-10T11:20:00.000-08:00

Today is the very last day I will ever spend in my 20's.

Yesterday I was out shopping at Forever 21 looking for a cocktail dress for a little get together I'm having with some friends tomorrow. When I was checking out, the checker commented on what a cute combo I came up with and I said, "Thanks, I turn 30 on Friday and I'm wearing this for the event." She then said: "How's that feel?" and that's a great question.

I told her I feel as though I'm 24 still, which she then told me is how old she is! That's nice, I thought. I am pretty bummed to be leaving my 20's. It's not that I'm sad to be 30, it just that I remember being 24 and looking at people who are 30 and thinking, "wow, that person is 30, that's old." Now I'm that old person. I'm also sad that I can't just stop time. I'm going to be 60 before I know it and the swiftness of life really freaks me out sometimes.

So how am I going to spend my last day in my 20's you may ask?! Well I'm not going to skydive or get a tattoo, although both are tempting. I'm simply going to enjoy every second of this day knowing that I am right where the Good Lord intends for me to be. I am a wife to one fine looking and more importantly Godly man, and the mother of the two most amazing girls to have ever breathed a breath. I'm going to play with my girls and make them lunch and clean up the kitchen and wash bottles. I'm going to read Macyn a story before she goes down for her nap and rock my sweet Tru to sleep. I'm going to bear hug my husband and try my best to express this love and gratitude that is swelling up in my heart. I'm going to be so grateful for this place and season I'm at right now in my life.

Then tonight, I'm going out for sushi with my parents and my in-laws and while at dinner, I will try my best to thank my parents for raising me the way they did. Being a mom myself now, I will try to understand what it's like for my mother to see me and think about 30 years ago when she went into labor, and the first time she laid eyes on me, and the love that overflowed from the depths of her soul and how it feels like only yesterday. And as I watch my dad hold and love on my girls, I will try to wrap my mind around the fact that for him it doesn't feel like very long ago that he was doing the same for me, and now his baby can give his 6'4" self a hug around the neck. And I will try in words and actions to tell them how grateful I am for EVERYTHING they have done for me these past 30 years, and I will fail, because there is simply no way to express that kind of gratitude. And then I will see my in-laws, the man and woman who raised my husband, and my love for them will be so full because they have given so much for their son, and because they have always loved me and embraced me as their daughter. I will think about how they may not have been there for much of the first part of my life, but how grateful I am that they will be there for the second!

And as I view these photos of my sweet little family on this EMBRACE THE CAMERA Thursday, I will sit back with contentment, joy and awe and ponder on the fact that I get to be apart of all of this.

Cookie Thief

2011-11-08T20:46:00.000-08:00

When we were at The Buddy Walk this past weekend we were surrounded by some pretty amazing dowsies including the hansom and wonderful Alden. I'm so grateful for the Fletcher family. They are top quality people. It's been fun having Alden and Macyn in school together. They are becoming great friends and really do love each other.

Shortly after we got to Anaheim stadium for The Buddy Walk, while we were all setting up in the rain, Alden was eating a big ol' chocolate chip cookie. Macyn instantly recognized what was in his hand and she then proceeded to do all she could to get a bite. We were all coxing Alden to share and give her a bite, but he wouldn't budge. That didn't stop Macyn. Without touching Alden or the cookie, she managed to get three big bites before he pushed her away. It was one of the funnier things I've seen in my life. Here are some photos that simply don't give it justice...

SUCCESS!

Buddy Walk 2011

2011-11-06T20:50:00.000-08:00

Okay, this year I didn't bring my camera. Why you ask? Well it was pouring rain and we just didn't. There were lots of other people taking pictures, so hopefully I'll get copies and then I'll do a better post, but for now, here's one of the only good pictures I got today:

This is my sweet little downsie (the cutest one there) walking at The Buddy Walk.

My oh my, look at her.

She's walking you guys! This time last year, not only was she not walking, but she was on oxygen. And now she's off the O2 and a walking fool.

The Buddy Walk is one of my favorite events of the year, even if it happens to be pouring rain for the first hour or so! I'm so glad to be the mother of a child with Down syndrome. It's the greatest. She's a gift. I thank our gracious and all knowing God that He knows better than me what's best for me!

Thank you Lord for these amazing people with Downs, and thank you God for our Macyn Hope!

What She's Wearing Wednesday: Tru babe!

2011-11-02T10:00:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite vintage shirts. Truly is rockin' it with her diaper...because sometimes, that's how we roll!

This shirt used to be mine and it says:

"God is watching me because He loves me so much He can't keep His eyes off of me!"

Too cute yeah?!

Tru is also rocking her crazy hair...I LOVE THIS GIRL!

Three Years Ago (on the 28th)

2011-10-30T20:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, here is a good way to tell that I've been just way too busy to breath:

Yesterday the Mr. and I realized that it was the 29th, which means Friday was October 28th which would be the three year anniversary of Macyn coming home.
That's a pretty big deal.
I could have cried knowing that I just skipped right over it. It didn't even cross my mind!

What kind of a mother am I?!?!

Here is what I wanted to have happen that day:
Macyn wakes up with a big huge and kiss (okay this always happen), and then I spin her around and say, "today's the day you came home to be mine!!!" Then we have a special breakfast of brown sugar pancakes. After school I pick her up, we head home, have lunch and then as I put her down for her nap I sing her the song I wrote for her the day she came home. After her nap we go the the park and swing on the swings. Then we have a special celebration dinner. During dinner we tell her all about the day she came home. We will look at photos of the day she came home. Then we finish it all with her favorite: Cake! And as I put her down for the night, I cherish every moment knowing she is my girl and I am her mama.

But none of that happened. And you know what's worse, I can't even really remember what I did that day; the three year anniversary of the day my Macyn came home, the day I became a mom. Tragic right?!

Oh man, I need to get my act together and focus on what is important and let the other stuff go...but what to do when everything seems important?

With all that said... (deep breath!)
there years ago we brought our daughter home to be our very own. three years ago I become a mom. three years ago, by the grace of God, our lives changed forever and for the better.

Macyn Hope, you have been nothing but a gift and a blessing to us. Your life has given us a glimpse of our Lord's heart and a greater understanding of Him. You make me laugh everyday and I often find myself smiling from ear to ear thinking about a silly thing you've done or a milestone you worked so hard to meet. It brings tears to my eyes thinking of where you were three years ago and where you are today and seeing all that God has done in and through you. Your life is a miracle and I've got a front row seat...wow!

What an honor it is to be your mom. You are my best good girl and being your mom is one of the greatest joys of my life!

I love you sweet little Macyn Hope Arpi Avis, my daughter, my girl!

School Days

2011-10-28T15:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my first day as a volunteer in Macyn's classroom. I had really bee looking forward to volunteering, and it did not disappoint.

It drives me crazy that I still don't know all the students names and I'm still just now learning all the aides' names. Macy hangs out with these people everyday and I should at least know their names.

Going from teacher to parent is a big jump.

It was amazing! I was grinning from ear to ear the whole time. I can't begin to tell you how thrilled I am to have Macyn in the class she's in. Her teacher is wonderful and her classmates couldn't be any better for her. Macyn is one of three students in her class who have special needs, the rest of her class are typical three and four year olds who are in the program only for speech. I really could not have written a better program for her.

Macyn's teacher asked me a few weeks ago if I would be the classroom photographer and get some pictures of the kids throughout the year and at fun events to put together in an end of the year slide show. I am thrilled to accept!

Here is a little glimpse into a day in the life of Macyn at school.

(For privacy reasons I can only include pictures of Macyn.)

Pumpkin carving time!

Time to wash up. This sweet little boy was helping Macyn get from one center to the next. I LOVE THAT!

This is the first time I've seen Macyn walk down a playground step only holding on with one hand. Go Macy go!

Walking to the busses at the end of the day!

Sahak's funeral and so much I need to process...

2011-10-28T08:09:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, Susan, Macyn's birth mom, called to let us know that Sahak's funeral would be on Tuesday. The MR. and I agreed it is important for us to go so last Tuesday, we loaded up the kids and headed to Glendale.

When we pulled up the Mr. noticed that I had forgotten to put a diaper on Macyn and so, like any non-potty-trianed child, she had peed her pants, and we had no change of clothes. So we head into a beautiful Armenian church, with a toddler in a VERY short "dress", the only non-Armenian people there, and the ONLY people there with kids. Even the family member's children were not there...we were feeling pretty out of place and pretty sure everyone who saw us thought, "who are those idiots bringing babies to a funeral". About ten minutes into the service, when Truly decided to be a fussy little thang, I thought to myself, "we are idiots for bringing our baby here!"

The service was beautiful. I was longing to have my camera there and to take pictures without seeming rude. For the brief hour or so we were there it felt as though we were in another country.

About half way through I took Tru into the basement of the church b/c she would not shut her yapper. The Mr. sent me a text to let me know that the casket was open at the entrance of the church and the family was lined up to receive condolences. We waited until the end and when we approached the family we were greeted with such love and appreciation.

As soon as Susan saw Macyn she scooped her up and wept. I have to comment on how great Macyn was. She let everyone hold her and love on her. It was as though she knew how important it was to be a good girl at the church and she could just feel the love pour out from her birth family. She was happy to receive it and happy to return it. It blessed my heart.

After the service we were invited to Susan and Sahak's home to be with the family. They live in a small apartment less than a mile from the church. We piled in the living room and Macyn stood in the center of everyone and basically entertained for the night. As always, she was a hit! In such a great time of sorrow and grief, family members still made an effort to thank us for taking such good care of her. I have to be honest and say that I simply can't wrap my mind around those comments.

At one point while we were at their home, Susan picked Macy up and gave her a tight hug and I could see the heartache in her face. It was less than four years ago that she made the decision to do an adoption plan for Macyn, and now she is a single mom. I can't even begin to imagine the thoughts that were going through her head while she held the baby who will never know her as mama.

Macyn's adoption is so unique that it's hard to process events like the one that took place Tuesday night. I sat back watching everyone interact with Macyn. The love they have for her is so obvious, and genuine, it makes me love them all the more. And yet they have always shown us so much respect as her parents and have never over stepped or made us feel uncomfortable.

As I sat back and took in the events of the night, there's a part of me that thinks I should feel uncomfortable with or even threatened by the birth family's desire to be so close to us, but I'm just not. I'm so grateful for a God whose love, grace, favor and mercy have been so apparent since the time we said yes to adopting Macyn. Being Macyn's mom has taught me so much about our Lord and His character. I am daily humbled that I get to be a key player in this beautiful circumstance.

Here are some iPhone photos I managed to discretely take during the funeral service.

Sahak drove a cab and so the parking lot was full of cabs.

The only time Truly was quiet during the whole service.

What She's Wearing Wednesday: Knee Socks

2011-10-26T21:15:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite outfits these days!

(Macyn was pretty sleepy and not in the mood for photos this day.)

Dress: used to be mine

Socks: Old Navy

Shoes: Converse

If your little kiddo is wearing some awesome vintage clothes, link up here!

Heavy stuff...

2011-10-20T15:05:00.000-07:00

Macyn's birthmother Susan, and her birthfather Sahak

Today I found out that Macyn's birthfather, Sahak, passed away.

This was a very sudden event. Two months ago he was not feeling well, he went to the doctors and found out he had a rare cancer. He has been in the hospital ever since and was supposed to go home for his last days, but ended up dying in the hospital this morning. He was 50 years old.

It was only three months ago that he was at our home meeting Macyn's grandparents, some of her aunt's and some of her cousins. When we had her birth family over for a family BBQ I had a feeling it would be a once in a life time event...and it was! I'm so grateful that most of our family was able to meet him. It was very important to Josh and me and I know it will be important to Macyn in the future.

I'm so grateful for the time we spent with Sahak. I'm so glad he got to see how loved Macyn is and how well taken care of she is. I'm so glad he had a heart big enough to make sure Macyn was given what she needed and what he could not provide.

I will never forget the first time I met Sahak. It was before they had chosen us to be Macyn's parents. We were so nervous about the meeting and when Sahak walked in, he reminded me of so many of the men I'd met in Romania and I had an instant love for him.

He made it a point to let me know that he is a family man and loves his daughter Emma and loves doing things with his family. I know he was a hard worker and did whatever it took to provide for his wife and daughter Emma. He is so proud of his Armenian heritage and the county of his birth.

So many adopted children have an unknown father, including Truly. I can't say enough how blessed I feel to not only know who Macyn's father is, but to be able to honor him in our lives and in our home. I love that I can tell Macyn how much he loved her.

I've written before about my love for birthparents, and I do have a deep love for this man, so it's strange to know that he is gone. My heart breaks for his wife and daughter and the rest of his family. The only word I can think of to explain how I feel is strange.

Below is the last picture we took together as a whole "family". This photo will be cherished.

Sahak will be missed.

Copy Cat

2011-10-17T17:46:00.000-07:00

Macyn Hope is at that stage in her life when she copies a lot of what we do. It's actually pretty cute most of the time, but we have to be very careful about what we do and say when we are around her.

Tonight we had an opportunity to go to a church plant of a friend of ours. (The Mr. was in charge of all their branding and print stuff) During the worship portion of the service Macyn was raising her hands, praising the Lord! She kept looking at me almost to say "like this mom, come on let's worship!"

My heart was just overflowing with Joy watching her. If there is one thing I want for my kids, it's that they love Jesus with all their hearts, souls and lives. To see and know that Macyn is watching my relationship with Jesus and following my lead is both terrifying and gratifying. I'm just so greatly for His grace...SO THANKFUL!

Standing??!!

2011-10-16T21:07:00.000-07:00

Tru babe is six months old and she's been home as ours for three weeks now. Yesterday, when the Mr. went in to get her up from her nap, she as standing in her crib. WHAT!? This is all happening much to quickly.

Sweet little Macy girl was barely able to sit in a Bumbo at six months old...she was also, in a way, fighting for her life.

It is such a strange concept raising a child who develops typically. It's not better nor worse, just very different. I'm learning a lot and loving every moment in both my girls' lives. (Okay, so I don't love the crying when they should be sleeping moments!)

In the past three weeks I've been doing a lot of sitting back looking at and enjoying my very different daughters. I love how unique they are and how God is piecing our family together in a way in which both of our girls are going to play their very own key roles. I know I've said it before, but I am blown away by the honor I've been given in being their mom. My kids are rad!

So back to Truly standing. This little girl came home just barely sitting unassisted and in three weeks she has figured out how to sit independently, get into sitting position, crawl and now pull herself up to stand. I was hoping to have her as a little baby for a bit longer, but it's exciting to see her develop, and with no physical therapy at that.

I was able to run and get my phone and here's what I captured:

Concentrating...

Almost there...

You did it!

Cute sweet girl!

We'll work on her stance!

Falling in Love

2011-10-11T21:37:00.000-07:00

"when I saw you I feel in love, and you smiled because you knew"

-arrigo boito

It's been 17 days since Truly came home to be my second born. It seems as though she's always been here, yet at the same time, we are still getting to know each other.

Here's what I know about her so far:

-she LOVES attention

-she doesn't miss a beat and is super aware

-she is only fussy when she's hungry or tired

-she loves the bath

-she hates sleep training (but so do I!)

-she is a drool fool

-after eating half her bottle, she likes to take a long break before finishing.

-her happy, sad and "talking" noises all sound alike

-she loves to bounce

-she is the spit-up queen

-she makes the cutest "ohh,ohh" sound when she's about to get upset

-she loves the bath and shower

-it's looking like we have a daddy's girl on our hands

-since coming home she has begun to crawl, get into sitting position on her own, and sit like a sturdy little thang. I've even caught her trying to pull herself to standing, but this is not aloud at such a young age.

There's more I'm sure. I'm still learning her personality. She makes my heart happy and full, that's for sure. I look at her and can't believe she's mine.

What She's Wearing Wednesday

2011-10-05T14:30:00.000-07:00

My girls have been wearing some amazing vintage garb these days and I have not been taking photos...ugg!

But here's one of my new fav vintage tops for Macyn.

Vintage Top: thrifted for $0.50
Pants: Jeggings baby! Children's Place for $12.00

Sisters!

2011-10-03T15:18:00.000-07:00


This is a photo of me with my sisters and Macyn with her new sister, Truly Star!

I am the middle of three girls. We are all pretty close in age and

I LOVE HAVING SISTERS!

It hasn't always been lemonade and gumdrops, but as we've grown up we've grown closer and I can say with total conviction that both of my sisters are my best friends in the whole world, I'd do anything for them, and they are the first people I go to (besides my husband) to celebrate, mourn, and share with. I thank God for the gift of my sisters.

Sooo...when I found out we would be getting another little girl, I was giddy at the thought of Macyn having and being a sister.

I find myself at times with a big grin on my face just imagining them together as little girls, teenagers, young women and old women. I can just see Macyn as the maid-of-honor, giving a toast at Truly's wedding. And I think about the times she'll go spend weekends at her sister's house. And then I think of how rich Truly's life will be because she is the sibling of someone with Down syndrome. I picture Truly as a teenager, going in Macyn's room to talk to her about the trouble she's having with her friends or with boys, because she knows Macyn is the only person who can really cheer her up! (I'm almost tearing up as I write this).

And so far,what a good sister Macyn is! She adores her new baby Tru. She is so excited to see her in the morning and after school. She asks for her by name and is often caught giving her a big hug or kiss or just being in her face. She's gentle with her and basically giddy when they are together. I've even caught her holding her sister's hand, and Macyn is not one to hold hands.

I see God's Favor, Grace and Love all over Truly's entrance into our family, and it's magnified when watching Macyn and Truly interact and love each other.

I am one blessed mama!

Here are some photos of their first days together. I'll warn you that I'm posting a lot!

This one needs an explanation: Macyn is holding what we call her "green guy" (we didn't think the name would stick, don't judge!). She LOVES her green guy and sleeps with him every nap and every night. I love her face here because it's as though she's saying: "green guy's mine right?! I don't have to share him with her?!"

Being Sick Sucks (excuse my language!)

2011-10-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

I really do hate to use the word "sucks" on my blog, but being sick really does suck! And especially the first week your newly adopted baby is home.

The Mr. took work off this week and we had plans of just being together as a family holding our sweet new baby and taking little outings. But three days after Truly came home I got strep throat.

Yeah, sucks right!?

So I spent most of the week in bed while the Mr. was super dad/husband and took amazing care of all the Avis girls. I am beyond thankful for my husband. He's THE BEST!

Finally, today, I'm feeling mostly normal and I actually had an appetite for dinner tonight. I'm still not trusting my health enough to be kissing my babies, and I am just waiting for them to wake up in tears with a fever, (but praying otherwise)!

While I didn't get to bond with my new sweet girl, I got to watch and listen to The Mr. and Truly bond. Sometimes I'd have them come in the room and play together so I could at least watch. I didn't take any new pictures this week, but I'll share a ~~couple~~ one more of my favorites (my computer is running so slow, I have no patience to upload another picture!).

I like to see the future in this photo. I like being the mom of my two girls!

These Days

2011-09-26T19:49:00.000-07:00

These Days I've been spending my time looking at and loving on this face...

And this face...

You could say things are pretty great in the Avis home right now.

Placement Day

2011-09-24T20:51:00.000-07:00

September 24th 2011 is the day my second born came home to be an Avis for good!

PRAISE THE LORD!

It was such a sweet and blessed day full of family and love.

Truly Star is a gift. She's also pretty awesome.

I'm beyond honored to be her mommy.

Below is a very small glimpse at Truly's homecoming, including our first family picture.

She fell asleep in the car.

My older sister Harmony and her daughter came down from Santa Rosa to surprise us. I couldn't believe it! I'm so blessed to have such an amazing family. This is a picture of all the sisters with the mama/honey-gram!

And of course, papa and Truly already have a very special bond.

Embrace The Camera: my girls (yup, that's plural!)

2011-09-22T13:08:00.000-07:00

What a dreamy and wonderful morning it's been.

Besides Macyn waking up from her nap yesterday with a fever (boo), it could not have been a more perfect morning.

I woke up, got ready and headed to Truly's foster home to pick up my daughter!!! Today we got to spend three hours with her doing whatever we want. And we could think of nothing better to do than to bring her home and stare at her!

She is an angel child. She never cried, and when I laid her down for her nap, she closed her eyes and feel asleep. She loved Macyn so much, and Macyn didn't leave her side.

Ahhhh, it was a sweet, sweet morning.

Here are some shots of my girls and me

Embracing the Camera!

This picture was actually taken yesterday when we met for the first time. This is my first photo with Tru!

Truly's Room

2011-09-21T21:36:00.000-07:00

Today I met my daughter!

Praise the Lord. She's amazing, and I'll post more about her tomorrow. Today I want to show you her room. It's a close up of her room because I was too lazy to change the lens on my camera!

I really love how it came out. It's exactly what I wanted.

This is hanging above her crib. Made from vintage sheets.

The Mobile I copied one I found here

Some pretty art. The "truly loved" piece of art is from THIS lovely friend. Thanks Dena!

Some more of the art work gracing the walls!

Where I will rock and cuddle her to sleep. (yes the chair rocks and swivels!)

Her crib and the closet, the closet "door" is three vintage sheets and one piece of fabric sewn together.

The view from the hallway!

A lot of love and effort has gone into this girl's room. I've had some of these vintage pieces for a long time now and I'm so glad to put them all together to make up this amazing space! Now I just need my Truly Star to bring it to life!

A Prayer for my Daughter

2011-09-21T08:09:00.000-07:00

September 21st is the day I meet my Truly Star.

Sweet Tru, here is my simple prayer for you:

"Now the Lord says, who formed Me from the womb to be His Servant . . ." —Isaiah 49:5

My heart overflows when I think about how our God crafted every detail of your little body in the womb of your birthmother. I tear up thinking about how His powerful hedge of protection and deliverance surrounded you from conception until now and will continue to surround your little life. I'm giddy when I think about God's perfect plan for your life, and mine. How before the foundations of the universe He knew I would be your mama and you my Truly Star. I'm honored and humbled at the gift of you, and that God, through His endless grace, believes in your daddy and me enough to allow us to raise you up to love and serve our Lord. Wow!

Truly, there is nothing more important in this life than Jesus. You have been created by Him to glorify Him and that is my pray for your life. By God's grace and strength, I will do all I can to guide you down the right path. I have a feeling that God has BIG plans for your my dear.

Isaiah 49 continues in verse six saying; "It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept. I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth."

Truly, I love you. I'm so excited to see God's plans for your life to continue to unfold. For you I pray for a compassionate heart and deep love for our Lord and for His people.

Okay, that's all for now!

Truly's Room and the Easiest Crib Skirt EVER

2011-09-18T15:55:00.000-07:00

We are slowly getting Truly's room together.
I was so excited to find out we were getting a little girl because I really wanted to do a vintage floral theme in our next baby's room. And now I get to!

A very sweet friend of mine, (who happens to share my name,) is letting us use their crib. It's a very nice crib with a little drawer on the bottom. We have the mattress set on the highest peg so I needed a crib skirt, otherwise you can see everything in the drawer on the bottom.

I looked up a few different tutorials, and while doing some measurements I decided to cut a lot of corners and made what I consider to be the easiest crib skit ever.

What You'll Need:

A vintage sheet, a full flat sheet is best
(I used a vintage sheet because I've been using vintage sheets for all my sewing projects for Truly's room and vintage sheets can be bought for very little money and the floral patterns are always so sweet and by using the top of the sheet you don't have to sew a hem!)
Measuring Tape
Scissors
Iron
Sewing Machine, of course!

Step one:
Start with the top of your sheet, measure and cut 77x41. (Use the pre-hemmed sides of the sheet to your advantage.)

Step two:
Cut out a 13x13 square from each corner on the long pre-hemmed 71inch side.

Step three:
Iron and pin a 1/2 inch seem on the two sides that were left after cutting the corners.

Step four:
Sew the 1/2 inch seems.

That's it!
You save a bunch of time by just using one piece of fabric and leaving off the the side of the crib that is up against the wall.

Here's some other items I whipped up for my munchkin's room:

I made the curtain in place of closet doors, and the mobile was made from the same fabric used in the closet curtain!

I'll post more when her room is complete.

What To Expect When You're Expecting: The Adoption Edition; Waiting

2011-09-17T21:55:00.000-07:00

When you grow your family through adoption there is a lot of waiting involved.

None of this nine month business for us.

And a due date? What's that?

I can't tell you how many times I had to tell people: "I will plan on being there but I can't commit 100%" and I'm a commit 100% kind of gal.

Once you finish your paperwork, you wait for your home-study to take place; once your home-study is complete, then you wait for "the call"; once you get the call, you wait to hear more; once you hear more and say yes, you wait to get your kid.

This is not the way it happens for everyone. But this is pretty much our experience with Truly. Each adoption is unique, but they all involve waiting.

So, as you know by now, we are at the "waiting for our kid" phase. It is so strange seeing a picture of her, knowing that she is ours for sure, and not having her here in my arms.

This is by far the strangest waiting. I am working hard at being content these next few days, but to be honest, I am not.

I NEED MY BABY.

But for now, while I wait, I get to wait with my sweet little family of three. I will forever cherish our time with Macyn as an only child.

With that said, I know as our family grows, it will only get better!

My Daughter

2011-09-15T20:31:00.000-07:00

Today we meet with our social worker and the adoption "crew" for information about our sweet little Truly and with that information came this...

Yup, that's my kid. You guys, look at that girl.

She is a babe.

She is not just cute, but super gorgeous.

This photo was taken two months ago so I can only imagine that she is much chunkier which means much cuter, if that's possible.

So the story is, we have to wait until next Wednesday to meet her (boo!) and we are praying that we can bring her home on Friday. If not Friday, we'll have to wait a whole weekend.

So please join us in praying for a Friday placement.

Oh man, oh man! I can't believe she's mine.

Thanks you Jesus!!!!!!!!!!

Macy in Maui

2011-09-11T18:35:00.000-07:00

I cannot begin to describe the joy in my heart at the sight of Macy in Maui.

I mean, just when I think she's reached her hight of cuteness, she runs around the beach with her bathing suit creeping up her tush, covered in sand.

SHE LOVES IT HERE!

But who can blame her?!

Plus we know that any child of mine is going to have a special place in their heart for the islands and a love of the ocean and beach.

This trip has been especially sweet because I know it will be our last vacation as a family of three. While I await my second born and NEED her in my life, I am cherishing every moment I have with my sweet Macy girl.

I have so much about this trip that I will document at a later time. For Now I leave you with this:

A Week From Today?!

2011-09-09T16:19:00.000-07:00

Sweet Truly,
If all goes as planned, I get to meet you one week from today. My heart is bursting with joy at the thought of it. Sweet, sweet girl, I will get to hold you and kiss you and smell you and shower you in my love. I can hardly wait!

Your dad, sister and I are in Maui today. Can you believe it?! I've been thinking about you the whole time. I'm so excited to bring you here, and watch you play in the waves with your big sister, and run on the beach during sunset. You're going to love this island. I just know it.

So since we've been here, we are thinking of changing your middle name. We planned on giving you "Star" as a middle name, because that is your aunty's Harmony's middle name, and it's a really great name. But then I worry that you won't like it, because "Truly Star" is a very unique name. So while here on the island, I started looking into some of the beautiful Hawaiian names and found the name "Leialoha" which means "Beloved Child". What do you think? It's a tough decision because both middle names have so much meaning to them. So what will it be?

Truly Star
or
Truly Leialoha

With your sister's name, "Macyn Hope", I just knew that would be her name. There was no second guessing. But now, with your middle name, I'm not sure.

So I have a week to decide.

Either way, your name will be the best name for you.

I love you daughter of mine. I'm praying for you everyday and trusting and knowing that God's protection is surrounding you and that He is preparing our hearts for each other.

xxoo,
Mommy

Truly Star

2011-09-01T21:12:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, which happened to be August 26th, around 11:15, I was rushing around like a mad woman trying to get things together for my very busy day. I had told a friend I'd be at her house around 11:30 to help prep for my husband's work farewell party. It was already an exciting day because the Mr. has decided it's time to go out on his own as an independent graphic designer. He's so talented and creative and a joy to work with, so I know he'll do great. Plus, he's simply following God's lead and I just adore him for that.

Okay, back to my story, so I'm packing food and feeding Macyn and we're ready to run out the door, when the phone rings. The caller ID shows "Private", which can only mean one thing...the county! Instantly I thought

"oh my gosh, THE call!"

And sure enough, on the other line, was our social worker. Her first words to me were:

"are you getting excited for your vacation?"

(Josh, Macyn and I are leaving for Maui tomorrow!!!!)

I told her yes and she said, "good but, I have to let you know we have a baby for you." That's right. She said...

"WE HAVE A BABY FOR YOU!"

Now, as a parent preparing for an adoption, you know this call is coming, but getting it is more than I can prepare for. It's like a dream. All of the sudden, there's this real life out there, and it's yours, and you don't have to wait and wonder anymore.

So here's what we know:

Our new baby is a girl! A sweet baby girl.;

She's hispanic and while we have yet to see a picture of her, I just know she has rich brown skin and lots of dark hair and when I come home from Maui with a tan, our skin tone will match!

She was born April 2nd, so she's 5 months old;

She probably gorgeous;

She was exposed to heavy psychedelics in utero but besides that they did not say anything was wrong;

She was given the name Stephanie, but we are naming her:

Truly Star

I wish I knew more, but we have to wait until we meet with our social worker on the Thursday after we get back from our trip. Then we are hoping to meet Truly on Friday and then bring her home the week of the 19th!

We spent this past week packing for our trip, but mostly dreaming of Truly. I think about her daily. Her room is pretty much ready to go. It's so cute, with a vintage floral theme. I'll take pictures in a couple of weeks when we get back.

The Mr. and I started this process in June of 2010, so we've been wanting a baby pretty bad, but I have to be honest and say that I was pretty sad about ending our time of just Josh, Macyn and me. I would think about adding a baby to the picture and get a little bummed out that things would be more difficult and I'd be taking time away from Macyn. But then as soon as our social worker said "we have a baby for you", my heart melted. I'm in love with this girl! I can't explain it and it's taken me by surprise, but I know she's my daughter and I'm smitten! I mean, I don't even know what she looks like, I haven't even met her, and I'd give my life for her. WOW! God is so good.

So back to last Friday. I hung up the phone with our social worker and quickly called The Mr. He, like me, couldn't believe it! I told him I had to go because I was running late. On my way up to my friend's house I was thinking about my new baby and about her little life and I began to think about all the prayers I've already prayed for her. An overwhelming joy came over me knowing that I had been praying for my daughter since her conception. I believe that God ordained our children before the foundations of the universe, and I believe that his hedge of protection has been about our little Truly Star since she became a life. WOW.

I guess that's all for now. I'll be off the map for the next ten days but plan on some regular posts once we get back. I can't wait for all of you to meet her. As soon as I have a photo, I'll post.

Thanks to so many of you for your prayers and support through all of this. Keep 'em coming. She's not home yet!

Too Much to Tell

2011-08-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

So...I am posting simply to say, some things have happened in our lives as of late that have caused me to be too busy to blog! But...I will have updates on important happenings as soon as I can give them the attention they deserve.

Thanks followers, for being patient!

Family Camp Family Pic

2011-08-25T20:13:00.000-07:00

For today's Embrace The Camera, a sweet little picture of my sweet little family at this summer's family camp. The Mr. works at Forest Home and as part of his benefit package we get a week at family camp, and we LOVE it! This is our third year so we took very few photos, and now I'm sad about that.

In this photo we were visiting the horses, which, although her face would suggest otherwise, Macyn LOVES. She was minutes away from a nap in this picture, this the blank stare.

All you mamas out there, make sure you get out from behind the lens and link up with Emily as you too Embrace The Camera!

Boy Oh Boy!

2011-08-22T11:24:00.000-07:00

This weekend, while out thrifting and pickin' I came across a thrift/vintage/antique store in Yucaipa that was FULL of amazing vintage treasures. I was so excited to find this gem of a store until I started inquiring about prices, and the owner was charging way more than I wanted to pay. I was on my way out and decided to peak at the rack of clothes in the back, all of which, were very reasonably priced. And I found these amazing dressed:

It just so happens that she had a collection of dressed that I'm assuming came from the same person who just so happens to be my size. Every one of these dresses fits me like a glove!

Boy Oh Boy!

What She's Wearing Wednesday is back!

2011-08-17T13:39:00.000-07:00

I have seriously neglected my weekly "What She's Wearing Wednesday" posts. But I'm back, for this week at least;)

As mentioned in a previous post, Macyn's cousins were in town for a whole precious week. I adore my sweet nieces and nephew and wish so much we lived closer, but we'll take what we can get.

We spent about a week up at my folks house and made our way to the Lake Arrowhead Village for some lunch and fun time together.

The vintage romper Macyn is wearing was a gift from her auntie Hana. Hana gave it to her at her baby shower. Macyn was only four months old at the time and there was no way it was going to fit her. Then the summer after she turned one it was still too big. Finally, when she turned two, I thought "it must fit her now", but she was still not walking and would scoot everywhere and the romper just did not work. So needless to say, I was thrilled when, at three years old, she can wear this delish piece of clothing!

Without further ado, here's what she's wearing these days:

With Auntie Hana

The cousins!

School!!!!

2011-08-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

Today is Macyn's first day of school!

What! What!

Macyn is only three years old, but when you have special needs you can officially start school at three years old.

She will be attending a pre-school program at Lugonia Elementary.

As suspected, she was so excited and ran into the classroom, not once looking back to say goodbye.

But we grabbed her so we could get some pictures in front of her classroom.

She jumped right in playing with the toys, making friends and making big messes all over the classroom.

I stayed until "rug time". Macyn didn't quite get it;) She did not want to stay in her seat, it took everything in me to not pull her aside and give her a little talking to about being a good listener. (please forgive the boy w/o a face! there are confidentiality rules so I had to blur him out.)

The teacher was great though. She let Macyn stand and help her and then when it came time for Macyn to put her name in the correct spot, she tried pretty hard.

Oh and the BEST part is, her friend Alden is in her class! SO FUN! (and is this picture not hilarious! They crack me up.)

All in all, I'm feeling good about this next chapter in her life. I've been thinking and praying about home school a lot lately, but so far, the Lord has given me peace about this program.

So here's to school! I'm looking forward to seeing Macyn learn and grow with each new day.

My Sweet Little Family

2011-08-14T20:27:00.000-07:00

A truly fab Embrace The Camera!!!!

A few weeks ago our dear friends, and admired photographers, of Magnolia Road Photography, took our family pictures.

A lot of you know that I dabble in photography, and I have to say, that Jeff and Rachel Marshman, of Magnolia Road Photography, are the photographers I aspire to become and boy or boy, do I have a long way to go!

I can't stress enough how wonderful they are. You must know that our sweet little Macyn Hope was a grumpy, sassy, mess during our shoot, and you'd never suspect it, because Mr. Marshman is just that good!

See for yourself...

Thanks Jeff and Rachel for these top of the line photos. They melt my heart!

Now your turn! Follow this link and get out from behind the lens!

And I have to announce, before I sign off, that that sweet little face is starting school tomorrow. That's right, her backpack is packed and her lunch is made. Stay tuned for the first day of school post headed your way tomorrow...

Back in the Saddle

2011-08-13T19:27:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile.

Two weeks to be exact!

I've been one busy lady these days. But it's all fun stuff so I don't mind a bit.

Two weeks ago my older sister and her three gorgeous and joy inducing children came for a week long visit. It was so much fun. Then, the day they left, our little family packed up the car and headed to family camp at Forest Home. The Mr. works there and it is only about 15 min. away, but when we go, we fully commit to being family campers and that means no internet or phone.

We had such a great time these past couple of weeks, but we are also excited to get back into the swing of things and for all that God has in store for us, which is seeming to be kind of a lot!

I have a lot of blogging I plan on doing in the next few days, but not tonight, I'm too stinkin tired. For now. I'll leave you with a couple of sweet moments with the cousins.

Celebration: Part 1

2011-08-03T10:02:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the delay with this post. I wanted to write sooner but my sister and her kids are in town and things are pretty busy around here.

I actually only have a few minutes but I wanted to share some photos and a few thoughts from our dinner party with Macyn's birth family. So this is part one and there will be more thoughts and reflections coming later this week.

It was a blessed time! Thank you Jesus for your hand over every aspect of my girl's life. As I've said many times before, it's such an honor to be Macyn's mom and witness first hand God's faithfulness and glory.

We woke up Sunday to the pouring rain. Which was amazing! I LOVE me some summer rain, and it's a rare event for us So Cal folks. Our party was to start at 4:30 and we had spent hours getting our backyard in order so we were a tiny bit bummed that we had to bring all our non-water proof furniture and decor in.

The rain continued until an hour before our party was to start and the clouds parted and the sun shinned down on our little yard and all was well!

Macyn's birth parents and sister showed up a few minutes late and brought with them the following:

Maternal grandma and grandpa, two aunts, one uncle and four cousins.

We were blessed to have both of our parents there, as well as both my sisters and the kids.

Here's a group photo:

A precious picture of Susan and Sahak, the birthparents.

A whole "family" photos:

A sweet moment between Macyn and Susan:

The grandpas: (My favorite picture of the day!)

Sisters! (A classic Macyn face)

The grandmas:

All the grandparents:

I have so much more I want to share so this is just a sneak peek.

More to come...

Getting Ready

2011-07-30T15:26:00.000-07:00

Today the Mr. and I have spent ALL day preparing for a very special event to take place in our home tomorrow around 4:30.

"What is it?" you ask. Well...

Macyn's birth family is coming to our home, for the first time, for a family BBQ.

Here's my thoughts on the matter:

When we first began learning about adoption we knew about many of the different forms of "open adoption" there are out there. In the beginning, if I could have it my way, I thought I wanted a birth mom who would simply want letters and pictures throughout the year and would hopefully be able to give us some pictures in return for our child(ren) to look at and be able to put a face to such an important person in his/her life. At the very most, I thought we'd be okay with a visit at a mutual location.

Never did I think that I would be exchanging phone numbers, and never did I think that my child(ren)'s birth parent would be entering my home.

The first time we met Macyn's birth parents was about two weeks before Macyn came home to be ours. Josh and I were SO DANG NERVOUS! It's kinda a big deal. We sat in the tiny meeting room in our agency's Echo Park office in Los Angeles CA, and waited for this couple to come through the door and agree (or not) to give us their baby. Our social worker, their social worker and a translator (as many of you know, Macyn's birth parents are Armenian and speak very little English) all sat with us, for what seemed like hours, as the birthparents were running a few minutes late.

When they came through the door I couldn't help but smile through all my nerves, as my clammy hand shook theirs.

As a side note: Josh and I have a love affair with Eastern Europe. We love everything about it! We love the scenery, the smells, the sounds, the food, the culture and most of all the people! While Armenia is not exactly Eastern Europe, it is so very close and when Macyn's birthparents walked in the room, I felt as though I was meeting a very familiar couple, they reminded me so much of the people we love in that part of the world.

To get back on track: I was surprised at how much love I felt for these strangers. I just wanted to give them a big huge and tell them how deep my love for them runs, and how I will love their baby girl with all that I am. I wanted them to be sure to know that they will forever be apart of her life. She will know exactly who they are and where she came from. They will be honored in our home! And in the short hour or so we spent with them that night, I did my best to convey just that.

After her placement day, which was a couple weeks later, we would not see Macyn's birthparents again for another year. At the time, I did not feel comfortable giving them our phone number and address (although they did ask). I needed to get to know them and their intentions and be sure that sharing this kind of personal information would be beneficial to my daughter and not end up making things too confusing or complicated.

So our first meeting took place at the adoption agency's office and was set up by our social worker. At the end of this meeting, we did feel comfortable with at least giving them our phone number and so we exchanged numbers and left feeling really great about where our relationship was headed.

Another year passed, and we got a phone call from Susanna (birthmother). It was around Macyn's birthday and they wanted to know if they could throw her a birthday party. Josh and I talked about it and decided it would be fine. (Go here to read all about it) We meet them at a park near their home and spent about six hours with them and 16 additional family members! Initially, it was a bit overwhelming. Then as I sat back and watched this family shower Macyn in love, my heart began to grow. God was making a special place in my heart that now overflows with love for Macyn's birth family. It was after this time with all of them that we realized what a gift we have in them. So many adopted children have very little to no contact with their birthparents, and often times, it's unsafe for them to be in contact. Not only do we have an amazing relationship with both Macyn's birthparents as well as her older sister, we also now have a great relationship with her aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins. AMAZING!

All of that to say, another year went by with no word from her birth family. We sent pictures and updates to their address but never heard from them. Then on Macyn's birthday we received a phone call from Susanna. She just wanted to wish her a happy birthday. We spoke and decided to meet up again. I suggested a local park again, and she asked if they can come to our home instead. I was a little taken back, and slightly hesitant, but after talking with Josh, we both decided we trust them completely and would love to have them come see where were live. So we said yes. This time around we thought it would just be Macyn's birthparents and their daughter, but last week I found out it will be almost the whole gang! And we are blessed to have our family come too! YEA!

So today we have been preparing for a feast for around 30 people! Thanks to our family for being so helpful in the matter and providing a lot of the food.

I have some butterflies in my stomach thinking about tomorrow, but then again, I get butterflies for basically every little new and unknown thing! I am excited about my next post where I will share pictures and stories of our time together.

Stay tuned...

What She's Wearing Wednesday: Recap

2011-07-27T13:51:00.000-07:00

Hi. I have not posted a new "What She's Wearing Wednesday" post in a long time. We've been super busy and I have not been buying much for Macyn these days. Her closet if full. So I thought I'd do a little recap of the past few month, maybe search my iPhoto for some cute outfits that have been left out.

Also, I'm happy to be linking up with a blog I love who is doing something called "Little Vintage Style" You can learn more about it here.

So here you go...a look back at some of the cute little vintage items she's been wearing the past year or so:

Everything she's wearing was either mine, or thrifted for $3 or less. Most items cost $1.

Also, it is so amazing seeing her in the first few photos with oxygen and with her walker. CRAZY and amazing all that God has done in this girl's life. WOW!

And I'm going to get back into regular What She's Wearing Wednesday posts and show ya'll some of the cute summer vintage clothing we have.

Swing Set

2011-07-25T13:34:00.000-07:00

Macyn Hope got a swing set for her birthday! Thanks Gra and papa Avis and Honey-gram and papa Hutchcroft! What nice grandparents our girl has.

Macyn's papa came over to help us put it together.

I was hesitant to get a swing set for our house b/c I didn't want one that will take up the whole backyard, and I think we found the perfect one.

Macy still lacks the balance and strength needed to sit on a big kid swing so we went and bought one of the Fisher Price swing seats and it fits perfectly on the swing set.

When we go to the park the only thing Macy wants to do is swing and now she can do it at home whenever she wants, and it's wonderful!

Our Anniversary Day

2011-07-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

We both agreed it was one of the best.

Josh took the day off and we headed to a new favorite spot in LA:

The Alcove, in Los Feliz. My sister Hana Lei lives in Pasadena and introduced us to this swanky joint, and she met us there for brunch yesterday and we gave her marriage advice while noshing on cinnamon bread pudding and sipping coffee!

We then headed to the MOCA (Museum Of Contemporary Art). The Greffen building has an amazing exhibit right now "Art in the Streets" that we have been wanting to see, and man or man, was it worth it!

We are both big fans of street art and after seeing Exit Through The Gift Shop, we had to make the time to see this exhibit. If you want to check it out, hurry because it's over Aug. 8th.

Macyn's favorite part the room full of black lights, neon paint and loud music. She started shakin' her grove thang as soon as she stepped in the door. (no picture sadly)

Josh and I both agree that our favorite of the day was Banksy. He's so dang talented and the fact that he is still such a huge mystery makes us appreciate him even more.

We also were able to view the art on display at their main site and right now they have a whole wall of Andy Worhol original soup can paintings. It is an honor to see such influential and timeless art in person. (no photos of his stuff aloud)

Macyn's favorite part at this site was her echo and loud marching on the floors. This museum was much more formal than the street art one and so we tried to keep her as quiet as possible. She was a crack up!

After getting our fill of phenomenal talent, we headed to Kabuki for happy hour and then home for an early night.

On a bit of a side note, I can't tell you how excited I am for another baby, and how I long to be a mother again, but I have to admit that this season in our life of just the three of us is a real gift. Pure joy I tell ya!

So that was our day. One for the books. Maybe next year for our tenth we'll actually leave our kid(s) over night and escape just the two of us. We'll see...

9 Years and Counting...

2011-07-21T18:44:00.000-07:00

Today, on this embrace the camera Thursday, it is my anniversary. Mr. Avis and I got married in Crestline, CA nine years ago today!

And yes, I was only 13 when we got married...crazy huh?!

Okay, so I wasn't 13, but I was a youngin at only 20 years old and the Mr. was only 23. And while I wasn't 13 years old when we got married, I was that old when I met Mr. Avis and had a huge crush on him because he was so cute (duh) and in high school.

As I think back to how we met and the years that followed, I thank God for His hand on our lives and His perfect plan being worked out. Our wedding day was everything I wanted it to be. God's presence was so obvious throughout the day and night and that gave us both a peace knowing that despite out young age, we were doing the right thing.

With that said, I few words to my husband:

Joshua Douglas,

Man oh man, do I love you! You are my dreamboat of a man! Thanks for being the kind of husband I would want for our daughter(s) and the kind of husband I would want our son(s) to be. Daily you bless my socks off by loving our family so well. Your hard work and dedication to Jesus, our relationship and our family, do not go unnoticed. I see how much you serve and sacrifice for me and it makes my heart happy and full...I'm so grateful.

I have loved doing life with you: I love our first year of marriage when we were broke and living off of our student loans; I loved dreaming with you about living in Maui and then buying one way tickets there to live out that dream and all we had were each other and the beach (which quite frankly is enough for me!); I loved fixing up our first home together, it was so dang dirty and cold, but in the end, some kind of wonderful; Traveling all over Europe and seeing the world with you were some of the best times of my life; But nothing beats being a parent with you, It was a long, difficult road to parenthood, but we're here now and I wouldn't change a thing. Plus you are truly the greatest dad EVER! You're so helpful and the way love Macyn makes me love you more.

I am so excited for the road ahead. The coming months are going to be crazy with all the big unknowns, but we're both a little crazy ourselves so I'm sure we'll have a blast. Not to mention we serve and love an awesome God who knows every little detail to come in the next weeks, months, and years, and knowing that brings me so much peace.

I love you Joshy-poo (he loves being called that;) Thanks for doing life with me

Happy Anniversary!

This is us today, having a lovely brunch at The Alcove in Los Filez. We had such a wonderful anniversary day. I'll post more about it tomorrow.

You Must Read This Book

2011-07-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

"She used to be adopted, but she's not anymore. She's ours!" (a quote from the book below).

Hi everyone. A good friend of mine, who has adopted all three of her beautiful children, just finished this book:

The whole time she was reading it she kept telling me how I needed to read it, and she got it to me as soon as she was done.

And she was right.

I am so glad to be reading this book. It tells real stories from the perspectives of all the key people involved in an adoption: the adopted child; the birthparent(s); the adoptive parents.

Being an adoptive parent myself, I find my eyes full of tears during most of the stories so far and I love hearing the perspective of the birthparents and adoptive children.

If you have not yet read this book, you should. And if you are struggling with whether or not to adopt, just do it. You really should.

It is such a gift to be an adoptive mother. I really do feel so honored and thank God daily.

Okay, so go get the book, read it, and get your adoption started.

Everybody's doing it! ;)"

Corn On The Cob

2011-07-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

Macyn discovered corn on the cob...

...she's a fan!

Peach Crisp on the Grill

2011-07-13T15:56:00.000-07:00

Last night we had a delish dinner, all prepared on the grill.

We have a pretty good sized peach tree in our backyard and LOTS of gorgeous, sweet, juicy peaches. I really wanted to make a peach crisp but there was no way I was about to turn on my oven, so I did the following:

Start with three or four yummy peaches:

If you don't have a cast iron skillet (I don't) then make your own aluminum foil bowls:

Cut the peaches into small bite size pieces:

Use a little of the following: Oatmeal, flour, brown sugar, butter, cinnamon and vanilla. Mix until all ingredients are wet and put the mixture on top of the peaches:

After your beer-can chicken and squash are finished grilling, place the aluminum bowls on the grill over medium heat. Let them cook up while you enjoy your dinner:

Finish off with some vanilla bean ice-cream:

Simple and so yummy. We'll be making this again I'm sure.

A Trip to the Beach

2011-07-12T13:47:00.000-07:00

The beach is my favorite place on earth. I'd live there if it wasn't so dang expensive.

I wish we went there more often and I'm not sure why we don't, but we don't. So I asked my husband to take a mental health day yesterday and our little family made our way to Newport Beach.

It was such a great day.

Macyn is funny. The first few times we took her down to the water she held on to us for dear life and said "no, no, no!" over and over.

About an hour in, on the fourth try, a little girl was playing near us and that made Macyn feel a lot braver so she joined in and was splashing around on her own. I'm so glad because if I love the beach, my kids must love the beach.

A little later, after some bird chasing and digging in the sand, I took Macyn down to the water. She let me dip her in and she splashed as the waves covered her feet. I was so happy at how much more comfortable she was with the water, then I had to go and ruin everything:

As she was splashing in the water, a small wave knocked her over so she was sitting in the sand, no big deal, she was fine. Rather than scooping her up quickly I wanted to see what she would do, and because I was focused on her I wasn't paying attention to the larger wave coming our way that managed to get to her before I could and take her under. I quickly grabbed her and was not at all nervous b/c I knew she was safe, but she was mad, and freaked out, and rightfully so.

And that was that! We lost her. She was able to shake it off pretty quickly, but she wouldn't let me put her down, she wanted nothing to do with the water, or sand or anything beach. In her defense, it was two hours past nap time, and my girl does not do well when she skips her nap.

So we made our way to the car and she fell asleep right away.

We ended our day with sushi at Ra, which makes everyone feel better!

I'm hoping my little drama queen will be quick to forgive me and the ocean and be happy to splash again in it soon.

Some pictures of our time there before the wave took her out.

Craft Fair

2011-07-10T15:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was a vendor at my second ever craft fair. It was in Riverside and I was able to partner with this lovely lady! which made the day much more enjoyable.

Hello Bird did okay. No complaints really.

My newest item in my "business" endeavor are these kid ties:

I don't have a boy, but if I ever do, he will wear these ties, and often.

Simply Sweet

2011-07-08T15:30:00.000-07:00

Look what we found at my folk's house last weekend:

Three little baby birds being fed by mama. This was the best photo I could get w/o making the mama mad and messing up their sweet little home. We watched all weekend as the mama would come and feed her little ones. They'd get all worked up and start chirping away when she'd show up. Then when she flew away they'd settle down and hide out in their nest. Macyn LOVED it, and so did the adults. It was a cool thing to witness.

Embrace The Camera: birthday girl

2011-07-07T20:47:00.000-07:00

As I said in my last post, Macyn girl has been sick. It just so happened she was sick the day of her birthday party, and that's no good.

We ended up having a very small celebration with some family and she was just not herself.

She did, however, perk up towards the end of the night and these are some photos of my sick, yet silly, girl.

Here we are Embracing The Camera! Follow the link and you can too!

What the Heck?!

2011-07-05T10:32:00.000-07:00

You guys, Macyn is sick again.

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.

Sunday, we were supposed to have a birthday party for her with family and a few friends and she woke up with a fever and funky cough. So we canceled her party...sucky!

We decided to go up the mountain to my parent's house and have a small celebration with a few family members. She did great considering she wasn't feeling well.

The next day she seemed much, much, better and so she took a dip with her papa in my parents spa.

By the end of the day I thought she was on her way back to normal and then today she woke up super early and was really whiny. She then proceeded to projectile vomit all over me three times, and all before 7:30 this morning.

We've spent the morning on the couch.

I'm going to call a holistic doctor this week and see if she can help me figure our some ways to get my girl's immunity boosted.

Do any of you see holistic doctors? So you're kids get sick this often?
Hopeful that this is going to be over and done with by tomorrow...I'll keep you posted!

Three Years Old (on Embrace the Camera Thurs.)

2011-06-30T18:48:00.000-07:00

My sweet little Macy girl is three! I so bad wanted to get this post up on her actual birthday, which was yesterday, but there was not even a five minute nugget of time that would allow me to do so.

As I reflect on the first three years of my daughter's life I'd love to open that reflection up with a picture of a sweet newborn baby, only minutes old, laying on my chest as I glow in a hospital gown.

This, however, is not the plan God had for me, and while I honestly do thank Him for every step He's planned out for me on my journey into motherhood, I admit that there was plenty of kicking and screaming before I let Him take me there His way, (which we all know is THE BEST WAY!)

Below is an email conversation that happened between our first social worker and I, in 2008, as we waited, not so patiently, for a baby. The only part I really want to point out, is in her email to me, and it's bold and underlined.

An Email to our social worker dated 7/17/08

"Dear Danielle, Thank you for the update. I have a question (imagine that ;). I know there is no "normal" in this process but we have been thinking of changing our preference when it comes to the birth parents having mental illness and wondered two things: one- mental illness is so broad, does this include things such as depression? two- would our profile have been viewed more by now if we were open to more or is it just slow in the birthparent department right now?

Thanks for your answers and patience. Again, I know that you cannot give definite answers for a lot of questions b/c it is case by case but any little nugget of information or examples from past clients will help.

Thanks again Danielle.
Take Care!

In Faith, Hope, and Love,

Heather"

Her Reply dated 7/23/08

"Hi-

Yes, mental health is broad. Diagnosed depression, anxiety disorders, etc. do constitute Mental Health issues. So, I think you may have missed one situation. Yes, we are slow. We recently have had a few Down Syndrome babies placed with us, so finding homes for them is a little more difficult.

Hang in there.

Danielle"

This was my first introduction to our daughter.

Macyn was more than three weeks old by the time I even knew of her existence. We had made it clear that we were not open to adopting a baby with Down syndrome and so our social worker was not seeking our interest in one of these babies, she was simply giving us the update we asked for.

This email, however, changed my life. As soon as I read those words, God did a work in my heart that freaked me out. It's a very long and detailed story that I will at some point include in a blog post, but not today.

It would be another three months before our social worker would give us a call to see if we wanted to adopt one of these sweet babies with DS (our future daughter, the Armenian baby with DS)...

Another two weeks before we would meet her for the first time...

And another month before she'd come home as our daughter!

But today, today I want to celebrate her birth. I have no idea what I was doing on June 29th, 2008, the day my daughter was born. I know my heart was longing for her, and I know that on that day God's excitement, in fitting all the puzzle pieces together, grew. I picture Him sitting next to me as I bawl my eyes out (because this is NOT the way I planned on become a parent), sweetly smiling and saying to me, "just you wait! She'll bless you're socks off."

I know that before the foundations of the universe, our sovereign and loving God created this plan in which this child would be formed and created in the womb of a woman never intended to be her mother, and cradled in the arms of a woman whose womb was never intended to help her form and grow.

I know that it is with fear and wonderment that God knitted together every limb, organ and chromosome ;)

I know that she was created for us, and us for her.

I know that it is an honor to be her mother, to watch her grow, to see God's will unfold before our eyes, to watch His healing hand work miracles in our daughter's life.

Macyn Hope, you have taught me what real joy is. You are so silly and smart and you work so hard to do things that don't come easy to you. Your sass makes me smile and laugh to myself at the thought of our future conversations/arguments! Your perseverance and strength leave me speechless at times. You have given me a clearer view of God and His character. You make me want to enjoy life more and take my time. You have truly taught me what it means to live one day at a time. You are my good-best-sweet-girl and my heart is bursting with love for you. Being your mother is the greatest joy of my life.

happy birthday Macy Hope Arpi Avis.

I love you!

Here I am embracing the camera with my girl and husband on her birthday!